I Cried Today....
Updated: Apr 25, 2020
Like let my guard down and let the waterworks flood….
Now, I get it, most of you are reading this and think… really? You JUST cried for the first time in this pandemic? Well truthfully, yes. You see, for those of you that know me personally, have seen me talk on stage or are a part of our online bridal community MasterBrides, you probably know one thing about me, I’m captain positive and I’m always trying to think three steps ahead of any issue. I thrive under pressure. I push myself to maintain it so that I’m my best self.
When COVID hit, I hit the ground running. I knew that this would single handedly be the biggest event to hit the wedding industry and I started researching. Hours and hours, late nights and early mornings. I pushed to get clients rescheduled. I answered questions on Facebook groups and then I researched some more.
Then like any logical human would, I went into Marie Kondo mode of my house. Made menu plans based off my deep freezer and pantry. Created goals every day to attack small chores. And I did it… for the most part.
Then I wrote my blog post last week and my email, Facebook and MasterBrides group blew up. I had meetings to help guide brides with contracts and reschedule options and frankly, was a counselor to many concerned bridal family members.
And then tonight on my way to pick up pizza… it hit me…. Like a ton of bricks. My Poppy Trolls personality went grey. I just couldn’t do it anymore, and I cried.
I cried for my little community of business owners…
I cried because I miss my sister who lives five minutes from me and my mom and other siblings whom I'm extremely close to.
I cried because I miss enjoying the grocery store
I cried because my entire income has dried up for the foreseeable future
I cried because I see my industry hurting and sometimes struggling to make the right choice.
And then I cried really hard for you…. My brides…
I do what I do because I LOVE you all. I truly do. I’ve loved weddings since I was 7 years old. I know what it’s like to dream of your wedding day. To picture what it’s going to look like and feel like and how you’ll remember it. And I mourned your loss. Mostly, I mourned your innocence. To go back to February when the biggest thing we worried about was what’s the official design of your wedding supposed to look like…. Not IF it was going to happen. I cried because I feel like every time I help you all, I’m selling out my own industry. It’s gut wrenching. Advocate for your clients but a job killer to your friends.
But then as I headed home a song popped into my head. My darling daughter’s favorite movie that irritating plays all the time in our household, Frozen 2, Next Right Thing. If you haven’t heard it, I encourage you to do so. I feel like that song embodies so much of what I’m personally feeling and experiencing and I’m sure what many of you are as well. So here are the lyrics:
The Next Right Thing
I've seen dark before, but not like this This is cold, this is empty, this is numb The life I knew is over, the lights are out Hello, darkness, I'm ready to succumb I follow you around, I always have But you've gone to a place I cannot find This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down But a tiny voice whispers in my mind You are lost, hope is gone But you must go on And do the next right thing Can there be a day beyond this night? I don't know anymore what is true I can't find my direction, I'm all alone The only star that guided me was you How to rise from the floor? But it's not you I'm rising for Just do the next right thing Take a step, step again It is all that I can to do The next right thing I won't look too far ahead It's too much for me to take But break it down to this next breath, this next step This next choice is one that I can make So I'll walk through this night Stumbling blindly toward the light And do the next right thing And, with it done, what comes then? When it's clear that everything will never be the same again Then I'll make the choice to hear that voice And do the next right thing
So, in closing, I got out of my car and decided to do the next right thing, and that’s to write this to you all. An open letter of vulnerability and honesty. To let you know that I’m navigating these waters with you as well and while I might be a captain of this brand, I’m human and I get down, too. So, when you’re feeling lost in your planning and all hope is lost… I encourage you to play this song and then tell yourself to just take the next step and do the next right thing.
Amy Grace Collins is a nationally recognized and award-winning wedding planner that's been in the events industry for almost 20 years. She's currently bringing to the US one of the biggest trends to shake up the wedding industry, Pop-Up weddings.