Updated: Apr 15
Bridal etiquette is so important so you can get the best service, results and experience while booking your wedding vendors. Many brides don’t realize their approach isn’t giving them a leg up, allowing them to secure the best vendors, and pricing.
Remember that guy from college that you had a great date with and never heard from again??? Well Brides, did you know many of you are doing this exact same thing????
“Yes, I’d love to set up a call and see if we can help you”, I replied, as I responded to a bridal inquiry. “Give me a time that best meets your schedule…”. I pressed send and then silently sat back. While I cynically I thought, “I bet I’ll get ghosted and never hear back” “truthfully… I’m beginning to feel like I’m back in college and I’m waiting for the call from a great date the night before and afraid I’ll get ghosted.
Brides, we have an epidemic going on. Here’s the thing, when I started in this industry over a decade and a half ago, it would have never crossed my mind that Brides would inquire about services and pricing, ask for meetings, meet with you and then proceed to never respond.
Last month I was on-site doing a fabulous winery wedding. There were a group of vendors busily putting together the final touches of the wedding and we were all happily chatting about our wedding season and our future outlook for next. We were all very established teams and have experienced various changes in the industry. Suddenly, one of the vendors pipes up, “hey, what’s up with the new trend of Brides ghosting you when they have inquired to meet and then disappear never to be heard from again?” We all stopped and stared at him and readily chirped in our affirmation of this issue!
Another guy responded “I’ve been doing this 10 years and I’ve never seen such a disrespect of my time. Some of these brides I meet with in person and do a complimentary consultation and then I literally never hear back from them. Just let me know either way!!! It’s common courtesy.”
I walked away from the conversation with a pit in my stomach. So, it wasn’t just happening to me. Well, let’s be honest, at first, I was a bit relieved because I wasn’t the ONLY one that was having this issue. But then I thought, what was happening? Why is our bridal culture shifting so rapidly away from common forms of etiquette? Is it the fact that most vendors are easily reachable and therefore less rare feeling? Is it the large amount of information on the internet that Brides can access quickly? Is it that our lives are so gosh darn busy that it just slips our mind?
Here’s the thing… I don’t have an answer. Trust me, I’d be making MILLIONs if I did selling the secret sauce and helping vendors fill their booking spots. But I’m here to help you. Here’s the secret to getting everything you want on your wedding day. Treat your vendors like gold and even if they are out of your price range, style, or just not your jam, we know other vendors who might work perfectly and can get you insiders deals by letters of introduction.
So, this is what I ask… Can you please be a bride that always responds yes or no? Will you be a Bride that says “thank you for your time, you’re out of my price range.” “Your style just isn’t my look and I think I’ll be going elsewhere”. “Do you happen to have anybody with your expertise in my price range, style I’m looking for or date available?
Here’s the deal, vendors appreciate being updated. It’s a ton of work for to market, prospect, and do sales presentations and requests, on top of taking care of clients in a way that will make their day epic? Don’t waste their time, or yours! (You might get the tenacious DJ who “follows up 15 times a week”) It’s truly an aspect most don’t love and would absolutely be fine taking off their follow up list if you don’t want to work with them. (I promise, good vendors are really busy!)
So reminder, don’t be the ghosting guy from college. Your prospected vendors just had a great date with you; they just want to know if they get the next dance.